Preventing an Unpleasant End

Your wedding is cause for great celebration. Half of your family thought you'd never get married, and the other half can't even remember your name (but is happy for you nonetheless). Some of them may not have been able to make it to the ceremony (but they had a very good reason, I'm sure) but at least they could show up to share this special night with you. Or eat your food. Or enjoy the open bar. Whatever.

The fact is, you have a crowd of people on your hands, and chances are pretty good you're serving them alcohol. There's no reason to turn this into a lecture on the dangers of alcohol. The subject has been covered. What I want to do is suggest some ideas on how to keep anything bad from happening, because you don't want anyone's evening to end on an unfortunate note, and you certainly don't want your wedding day remembered as anything but your wedding day.

Of course there's no way to fully control another's actions, and accidents do happen, but as event organizers with a full understanding of how alcohol can impair judgement, it is our responsibility to at least encourage safety. We could paraphrase this into some kind of a weak slogan!

Keep it light, keep 'em there, cut 'em off, or take 'em home

If you're serving watered-down American beer, you've already done your part to keep guests sober. Kudos. ;) Weak (virgin?) cocktails are another option. Just maybe not a popular one with the guests... Now that my worst suggestion is out of the way, let's move to the best.

For destination weddings, receptions held at hotels, or any other situation where the guests have adequate accommodations, you can simply keep them there. Destination wedding guests will already have their rooms taken care of. For those with the means to board their guests locally, little creativity can go a long way. Room keys could be incorporated into the place setting. The option to stay could be mentioned on the invitation and referenced on the RSVP. Guests who love camping could be granted a patch of yard space for tents, and your crazy retired uncle and aunt could sleep a few people in their RV. Heck, if the weather's right and the location is good for it, shelter may be optional. My fiancée and I love to sleep in the yard under the stars when the mosquitos and skies allow it. Let your creativity guide you on this one, and once your plans are made, your guests can drink to their hearts content.

Most couples may find the above idea totally impossible. That's fair. If you still want to let your guests drink to their hearts content, there is always the option of arranging some sort of transportation home. This would be especially helpful if that crazy uncle of yours hasn't yet sold his taxi company and bought the RV. Maybe you have great public transit options (NYC?) or live in a small area where folks can walk home. Rent a shuttle, call a cab, or let sober guests volunteer to be designated drivers.

Finally, you can just cut them off. Close the bar at midnight, and keep your guests entertained until 3. Lock the gates, hide the keys, and do whatever you need to keep them there until they've mostly sobered up. According to WebMD, the average person can metabolize around 1 drink an hour. The only problem is that it's impossible to know just how long it will take for people to sober up. Depending on how heavy they hit the bar, it could be an hour, or it could be 6. While this is probably the easiest way to help ensure your guests leave sober, it is assuredly the least effective.

On page 6 of WebMD's Alcohol Intoxication guide, they say that "impairment of skills begins at a much lower level than required to exhibit obvious signs of being drunk." That is to say, without a test, there is no way to tell how 'impaired' a person really is.

Which Is the Worse Buzzkill?
I'm no prude; I love a good drink, and have been known to have a few. On the other hand, I love every single person coming to our wedding, and would hate to know something unfortunate happened to them, especially on the night of my wedding. Call me a groomzilla, but I'm NOT going to have the memory of my wedding tainted by something that's in my power to prevent. It's going to be the happiest day of my life, full of nothing but good things.

Start a New Trend
Don't let yourself be limited by what people are doing. Innovate, like the classy star you are, and watch people follow your lead when they realize what a great idea it is. How awesome would it be if one day it was just understood that you bring a blanket and pillow to wedding receptions? Tuxes and Tents. Sounds like a good time to me.